Very interesting article. I am one of those people that believes that the “choice vs. born this way” argument is a false dichotomy that sets us up to argue between these two sides (as if they are the only options), while ignoring the fact that it’s irrelevant why we’re gay because we’re still humans that deserve the rights and dignity of any other human. Choice or not, love is something that every human deserves to feel, without explanation or justification.
It falls into that mode of black and white thinking that is so core to the conservative mindset, and, as Cynthia Nixon pointed out, lets them set the terms of the debate. Like the author of this essay, I think human sexuality and attraction is far more complex and, frankly, far more interesting than simplistic definitions would allow, and I refuse to fall into the trap of picking the “born this way” argument simply to feel validated for living in a way that is not accepted by complete assholes. I don’t need to be validated by them, nor by some reactionary adherence to biological absolutes.
I’m not the problem. I don’t have to explain myself in their narrow terms. THEY are the problem. Their stunted understanding of life and love and spirituality is a burden that they place on us without our consent, but we don’t have to accept it. And we certainly don’t have to let it be the base upon which our own perceptions of ourselves rests.