I am sending you this message from the aftermath. That is to say, maybe the afterlife.
I am the mother, the sister, the daughter who vanished from the conversation. I became a load bearing wall in an oppressive institution held in place by splintering pressure. My stoic stillness made me invisible. I became a ghost. Brothers forgot their allegiance, fathers forgot to protect and sons forgot their bond when the conversation turned to my rights. I was breaking my back holding up the room where these men debated over how they would like to treat a woman. I closed my eyes and I rolled back the seconds of my life and then the hours and days trying to remember how I incurred this indenture.
I cannot remember what started the battle or when, but as long as I can remember, I got the sense that there was a waiting danger, a deep disquietude, a prowling violence approaching me. I took up arms against this ambient oppressor and I called to my sisters, I saw that there were many of them, to fight with me. That was a time when I still rattled my chains a lot and was sure that if I rattled them enough, I would be free.
So I know I have been slacking on posts, and I apologize to the 3 people who read this blog. 😉 It’s been a bit of a crazy week for me, but there’s so much insane news hitting right now, that I don’t want to miss the chance to post about it, and I might just need to rant for a bit as well.
Let’s talk about this crazy, women-hating bullshit, shall we?
Very interesting article. I am one of those people that believes that the “choice vs. born this way” argument is a false dichotomy that sets us up to argue between these two sides (as if they are the only options), while ignoring the fact that it’s irrelevant why we’re gay because we’re still humans that deserve the rights and dignity of any other human. Choice or not, love is something that every human deserves to feel, without explanation or justification.
It falls into that mode of black and white thinking that is so core to the conservative mindset, and, as Cynthia Nixon pointed out, lets them set the terms of the debate. Like the author of this essay, I think human sexuality and attraction is far more complex and, frankly, far more interesting than simplistic definitions would allow, and I refuse to fall into the trap of picking the “born this way” argument simply to feel validated for living in a way that is not accepted by complete assholes. I don’t need to be validated by them, nor by some reactionary adherence to biological absolutes.
I’m not the problem. I don’t have to explain myself in their narrow terms. THEY are the problem. Their stunted understanding of life and love and spirituality is a burden that they place on us without our consent, but we don’t have to accept it. And we certainly don’t have to let it be the base upon which our own perceptions of ourselves rests.
Wow, lots of good stuff that hit just after I posted the late links.
These are some links I was planning on posting this weekend/Monday, but was too busy actually having an awesome weekend. Sorry.