Go Forth and Nullify (cheat sheet remix)

The Art of Reverse Trolling in short form.

Go Forth and Nullify

It’s time for some real talk, so “set yer ass down and listen up” as they say in my native land.

Assuming you haven’t only recently returned from ten years at sea or launched yourself into a gaping abyss of semi-psychotic denial, you probably have corrosive rage spraying uncontrollably out of all of your orifices right now. Let’s face it; that is the lay of the land. We are all in the same boat. The “white man’s burden” is back in a major way. It is suddenly somehow acceptable to refer to welfare as giving black people other people’s money, to say that working class children need to be taught the value of hard work (the leisuring upper class is supposedly well versed in this), to have a panel of conservative white male religious leaders inform congress on women’s rights issues and to teach loose women a lesson by signing permissible medical rape into law.

Luckily, someone waits for you, ready and eager to absorb the overflow of your anger. Someone is desperate for every little bit of negative attention you’re willing to spare. Who are these godsends, you ask? Why, they’re misogynist trolls of course! Around every corner, they’re just waiting with baited breath to be torn to shreds so you can feel a little better and get back to the business of thinking clearly and making serious attempts to change our situation. Glut yourself on this bounty of dickwads, my sisters! Be the man hating feminist whose existence they’ve always cited, but they have never truly met! Do them the great favor of justifying their pathetic existences; they live only for your anger and it is time to honor their service to the community. Thank you, my asshat internet bretheren. I never realized how much I needed you.

Without further ado, The World’s Most Comprehensive Guide to The Art of Reverse Trolling.